St Patrick’s Day + Ides of March = Trouble
Author: wlm3
sparknotes: Bravo’s Reality Series Southern Charm
General Info
Context
Southern Charm is a reality television show created and broadcast by Bravo, a basic cable satellite channel. Begun in 1980 as a suscription-only platform devoted to cultural programs, Bravo originally featured a PBS-like mix of international and independent films, musical shows such as Jazz Counterpart, and stage productions like the Texaco Showcase presentation of Romeo and Juliet.
Interestingly enough, the evolution of Bravo mirrors the decline of Western Civilization itself. After MGM and GE took over the channel, programming shifted from highbrow entertainment to decadent reality shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and the various Real Housewives shows. Bravo’s shift from high to low is a microcosm of a macrocosmic degradation. For example, during the Elizabethan Period, educated people considered Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet pop art, middle brow entertainment that nevertheless enthralled even the rotten-tomato-toting lower classes of London. Now almost 400 years later, even most college educated people consider Shakespeare too highbrow, and theatre goers in London would much rather sit through The Lego Movie rather than a production of Twelfth Night.
It is within this context – the decline of civilization and in this case, Late Empire American culture – that Southern Charm takes its cues. Not unlike Petronius’s skewering of the excesses of Nero’s Rome, (e.g., the Romans’ obscene ostentatious consumption of food; their round-the-clock drunkenness; their loveless, indiscriminate sexual couplings), Southern Charm documents the decadent and extravagant lifestyles of a group of Republicans who live in the most glamorous city of a state that refuses to expand Medicaid.
Oh, yeah, there’s one significant difference: whereas Petronius mocked the excesses of decadent Roman culture, Southern Charm celebrates it. It would appear that people’s lives are so impoverished that they would rather live vicariously through vacuities than engage with other humans in bars and restaurants. Academics disagree as to whether Bravo’s management is cynically exploiting the “stars” of their shows in a post modern commentary on the poverty of contemporary culture or simply stuffing their pockets with money and not giving a shit.
Plot Overview
Set in the tourist and retirement mecca of Charleston, South Carolina, Southern Charm follows former South Carolina Treasurer Thomas Ravenel as he readjusts to life outside of prison after doing 10 months for buying and distributing cocaine. Although the show purports to explore the life of Charlestonians, Ravenel is the only local featured (see characters). Besides Ravenel, the show focuses on five other main personalities, two women, and three men, all white and seemingly a couple of decades younger than 50-year old Ravenel. The cast also consists of minor characters: mothers, fathers, hook-ups, carriage tour horses, polo ponies, etc.
Essentially, the show explores the main characters’ interactions as they engage in tedious conversations in ever shifting scenic spots as they eat, drink, woo, reject, seduce. As in most other “reality shows,” the viewer peeks in on the principals’ daily routines, in this case at their plantations or town houses or out on-the-town in swanky shops, restaurants and nightclubs. In addition viewers also get to hear the characters’ personal takes on the events as they smugly backbite into the camera.
Character List
Thomas Ravenel – the son of successful politician “Cousin” Arthur Ravenel and a graduate of the Citadel, Thomas himself aspired to be a politician, unsuccessfully running for the Republican nomination in South Carolina for the US Senate but later being elected as State Treasurer. A backer of Rudy Giuliani in the 2008 Republican nomination battle, he supported Ron Paul in 2012. Of course, Ravenel’s 2008 coke conviction brought his political career to a screeching halt.
A hedonist, polo player, and wealthy man about town, Ravenel feels pressure to settle down, marry, and sire male heirs. Here’s Thomas on his way to his plantation on Edisto talking to his father about what Thomas hopes to be a bourgenining romance:
Cameron Eubanks – a native of the Palmetto state but not of Charleston, Cameron likes, according to Bravo’s website, “boating or laying (sic) on the beach with a good book.” (The Carpetbaggers perhaps?) So far on the show, she parties with the boys and engages in non-witty repartee. Having just turned 30, she offers subtle hints of her biological clock’s ticking as she shifts careers from cosmetics to real estate.
Craig Conover – Drawn from Delaware to the College of Charleston, 25-year-old Craig has stayed on in the Holy City (don’t they all) to attend the troubled Charleston Law School. The spawn of an incredibly athletic family, Craig seems more down-to-earth than other cast members, perhaps because he “finds meditation in diving, golfing, and shooting guns.”
“Om, Fore, Boom!”
Jenna King – Aspiring fashion designer Jenna hails from Sumter, South Carolina and manages somehow to be simultaneously country cute and avant garde cool (see hair). This globe trotting graduate of Trident Tech has a passion for animals, especially horses.
Shep Rose – Listing his profession as raconteur, Shep nevertheless ends each sentence with the interrogative lilt made famous by Vally Girls. He’s a man of many diverse interests, like drinking, dressing like a preppy, talking, fornicating, listening to the Grateful Dead, and hanging out with Republicans. Perhaps not the most perceptive of raconteurs, Shep describes his friend Whit (see below) as “an elitist hipster” despite the latter’s penchant for wearing pajama-looking shirts and silver chains around his neck.
Whitney Sudler-Smith – Self-proclaimed composer of “brilliant screenplays and ingenious independent films that few will see” (it appears that he and your humble sparksnote reporter have something in common). Despite having directed a film about Halston that has been “screened” on Showtime, Whit lives with his hideous mother in what the producers of the show call an “urban plantation.” He and Shep are “partnering” to open just what Charleston needs – a sophisticated rock-n-roll bar.
Themes, Motifs, and Symbols
Themes:
Not unlike The Great Gatsby, which doesn’t have a likable character in the entire novel, Southern Charm centers on the privileges and decadent lifestyles of a cast of wealthy characters; however, unlike Gatsby, not one of the characters in Southern Charm is even vaguely interesting. A quote from the National Lampoon’s parody of “Desiderata” comes to mind:
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Major themes include the tension between enjoying a hedonistic lifestyle and settling down, the difficulties of maintaining successful bromances when libidos get out of hand, and lastly, how cool everyone is because they live in Charleston.
Motifs – the need to procreate, lavish dinners, hangovers, hooking up, unresponsive women turning down swashbucklers accustomed to bodice-ripping, Ravenel’s tarnished reputation. Old buildings. Nice things.
Symbols – Charleston = Rome. Whiteness is also a symbol. African Americans are virtually nonexistent. Maybe that’s why no one smokes weed.
Quotes
“I am a cunning linguist.” – Thomas Ravenel, putting the moves on Catherine.
“I don’t like Brandy [her seemingly closeted gay son’s romantic female interest]. I don’t like Brandy. I don’t like Brandy. Have I made myself clear? I don’t like Brandy” – Whit’s mother.
“I often wake up drunk,” – Shep.
Discussion Questions:
Discuss the title. Is it serious or ironic? Identify elements that one might find charming.
Compare and contrast Shep and Craig. What do they share in common? How are they different? Which one would you murder first?
Mothers and fathers play an important role in the series. Given how their children turned out, why do you think they’re so eager to have them replicate?
Whom do you hate least and why?
Disorder Above Key West
Click the grey arrow above for sound
I lifted my head and croaked
Like a crow, and the nails
Vibrated with something like music . . .
James Dickey, “A Folk Singer of the Thirties”
1
Henry David Dobson
Out of action, losing traction,
I slid down South, a bad mistake.
Florida is flat, crawling with con men,
rattlesnakes, swamps, and tattooed
waitresses who call you “Sugar Britches.”
Shooting for Key West, got waylaid in Mayo,
Way down upon the Suwannee River,
A taint of a town (tain’t panhandle,
tain’t peninsula), impoverished
in more ways than one. No fun.
Met Loquacia at a juke joint call’d Phas 2,
a concrete block shit hole
not far from the “Bo Gator Motel” where
I was staying – not clean, not well-lighted –
and my money was dwindling.
Loquacia was into iguanas, had them
inked all over her skin, crawling up
her back from butt crack to shoulder
blade and up over down betwixt her tits
crawling down under disappearing into her panties.
Just got one tat, the name of my dead son,
Thom, one letter from left to right
in the crotches between my fingers.
I open my hand and spread the span,
and poof! his name appears in Gothic.
Anyways, I spent my days scrounging,
hooked up, thanks to L, with this cat who claimed
to be from JA, Mo-Bay, but could have been
some South Carolina geechie for all I know,
but he paid me good to make a run.
Seems he supplied some squids
at the base up in Jacksonville.
2 kilos of what the geechie calls ganga
stowed in the trunk of my Chevy
in duffel bags. What could go wrong?
Long story short. I’m writing this
from the Duval County Jail. Loquacia
ain’t darkened the door. Silver lining,
my rap sheet ain’t that bad: shoplifting,
public drunkenness, simple possession.
Working with a public defender, an
idealistic Jewish girl named Rachel.
She asked me about the tats, and sort
of teared up, she did. Maybe she can get
me off – and by that I mean out of jail.
Anyways, here I sit, way
out of action, with absolutely no
traction. a semi-literate Oscar Wilde,
waiting for my upcoming trial
where I’ll sing like Joan Baez.
2
Durwood Jett
Took the back roads to Tallahassee
to avoid the monotony of mile markers,
dead armadillos, and exit signs.
Took the back roads and took my time.
Didn’t make it quick enough to see him die,
but my step-mama filled me in,
sucking on a Marlboro like a man,
“A horrible death, a horrible death,” she said,
over and over, shaking her head.
I didn’t know what to say. “Too bad.”
“He fought it hard,” she said, “screamed
‘Get that Gotdamn light out of my face,’
then up and passed.” She’d took a picture
and showed it to me. Looked like
all dead people look – his eyes froze,
his mouth froze open like a fish.
No, my daddy and me didn’t get along,
the house not big enough to hold
the two of us. Like in that
Springsteen song. We’d cuss each other
and sometimes come to blows. Of course,
me 35, half his age, been able whip him
for a while. He sure whipped me
back then before, cracking a buckled belt.
Can’t quite pity the poor dead bastard,
laying there waxy with his hair slicked back
in that Sears and Roebuck suit, striped tie,
his mouth glued closed, his eyes glued shut.
His daddy beat him, and that daddy
beat that daddy before that. I ain’t
got no offspring, but got my own
business, mind my own business,
so I have the time to take my time,
to take the back roads, to avoid
traffic, to miss all them 18-wheelers in a hurry
to reach them warehouses they can’t abide.
3
Chuckie Brent
When Jimmy Jeffcoat’s meth lab blew,
me and Tiny Wade was smoking a joint
back behind outside the Stop and Go.
Boom. One blast. BOOM. Tiny jumped
about a foot and a half, like a bullet or bigger
was headed his way. “Got damn, what was that?”
I told him I reckoned a transformer blew,
or maybe a sonic boom? but then we heard a siren’s
whoop-whoop and knew that something bad was up.
“For sure, it ain’t no Islamic terrorist,” I joked.
“Ain’t nothing in this shitty skank ass town
worth the trouble of blowing up.”
* * *
We still ain’t recovered from that tornado
two years ago. The kids gone off to college
ain’t never coming back. Tallahassee, Orlando,
Atlanta – they got movie theaters and restaurants.
Their parks ain’t littered with them empty canisters
the teens been huffing on all night long.
* * *
I hear they hauled Jimmy down to Duval County.
He lost his dog and parrot, both burnt to a crisp,
that parrot that perched and shat on Jimmy’s shoulder,
like Jimmy was some long lost landlocked pirate.
“Arrggh,” Jimmy’d growl,” and the parrot’d go
“Arrggh” over and over. I swunny it got old.
I suspect Jimmy ain’t laughing right now,
and I know for sure the parrot ain’t,
and that dog won’t keep me up ever again
barking his chained-up ass off all night long.
Yep, the sun comes up, and the sun goes down,
And there’s one less loser in this podunk town.
4
Rachel Feldman
Oh, Leah, I’d resign tomorrow
if I could steel myself and endure
mom’s patronizing, smug, I-told-you-so,
but no, I’ll continue to slog my way
through this damned Despond of Despair,
continue to suffer our insufferable DA.
No, I’m good at least for one more year,
my own self-imposed sentence you might say.
It’s almost always drugs. Smack, crack
meth, Ecstasy. With the resources
we waste prosecuting weed, we could feed
so many food insecure kids. We need
to get them out of those trailers
into pre-K if this unrelenting
cycle of poverty is ever to cease!
We’re talking Dorothea Lange like squalor here.
Let me tell you about these two clients of mine,
Jimmy Joshua Jeffcoat and Henry David Dobson,
as different as night and day, but in
a similar plight. Unable to make their bail,
they share the same cell. Jeffcoat’s a creep,
with pitted methadonic teeth.
Dobson, on the other hand, reads Oscar Wilde
and flashes a crooked grin of orthodontic white.
Jeffcoat’s doomed to serve at least seven,
if not more, but Dobson wants, as he says,
“a jury of my peers to decide.” Who knows?
He’ kind of charismatic. DOB 4/1/75.
He sports a full head of slicked back hair.
A ruddy face, creased, furrowed, but kind.
I’d say he’s suffered way too much sun,
and a few too many dark nights as well.
He calls me “Miss” in a formal sort of way,
and he’s practically tattooless, the only one
his dead son’s name, in between his fingers,
upside down from our perspective.
Yes, I guess he could be gay, though I hadn’t
thought of that. But, yes, you’re right, the tat
is indeed a man’s name, and yes, Wilde, could be,
but if I had to bet, I’d bet he’s straight.
When this gig’s over, I’ll bugaloo back
to Boca, having done my time.
Might go to grad school, SCAD, get an MFA
in photography. I’ve learned being a lawyer
is not for me. Should have listened to my
heart instead of my mom. Oh, sure, she’s proud
of what’s she made of me, my Ivy League degree,
her youngest brand name of a daughter.
5
Bobby Lee Thornhill
“Please help me help yourself,” my PD said.
“A little remorse could go a long, long way.
Even if you don’t really feel it,
Try feigning it, you know, like an actor in a play?”
“No ma’am, I can’t. I won’t. In fact,
I’d love to kill him all over again.
Watch him jump when I pump
them shells in place, watch his face go white,
them tiny rodent eyes terrified
as I suggest he pray –
“Boom – “before he can mutter ‘Our Father’ – boom –
bits of brain and skull splattering
sticking to the concrete block wall behind.
“No ma’am, remorseful I am not.”
Some icy thing shot up her spine,
like she was looking at Satan himself.
“It’s cause what he done to that
little girl,” I said.
She shivered again
and crossed her hands across her chest.
6
Henry David Dobson
When I put my hand upon that bible
(its old leather cover was cracked),
I wondered how many hands, both black and white,
were as steady as mine taking that oath.
I slowly raised my right hand and swore
to tell the truth, the whole truth,
nothing but the truth – so help me God.
I said it as if the Lord was as real as you and me.
I looked each juror softly in the eye,
the way Jesus might, if he was on trial.
* * *
They claimed I had to know the 4 kilos
were hidden in those bags, mashed
under wads of dirty clothes.
“No, sir, I did not,” I said. “I swear,
I did not know, would have hid
them better if I had.”
The fat man snarled; his sarcasm dripped,
“We’re supposed to believe you didn’t look?”
“No sir, I don’t believe in snooping
through other people’s property.”
The fat man lost his cool, sensing he might lose,
raised his voice, “What about the smell?
The patrolmen could smell it, the K-9s went wild.”
I sighed an exhausted sigh and said,
“With all due respect, sir, I’m no dog;
plus I lost me some olfactory in the Iraqi war.
You can check my records on that,” I said.
* * *
My PD, she played a role as well,
was less a Yankee, more of a good ol’ gal.
She appealed to the jury’s sense of fair play.
“Let us hope,” she said, hand on heart,
“we have not come to that sad day
when we’re so cynical
we ‘re incapable of
mustering a reasonable doubt
in favor of a fellow human being.
“He could be your brother or son.
Let us hope we can still manage
to muster a reasonable doubt.”
* * *
There’s nothing quite like getting out of jail.
You feel so free it’s almost worth
getting locked up to get out again.
You look up and see clouds overhead,
and in your car with the windows rolled down,
you can feel the wind blow back your hair
as you bid adieu to that goddamned town.
You’re free to take this road or that,
free to head north, south, east, or west,
free to holler a rebel yell – you’re free again –
on ’95 headed south to Key West.
I Can’t, I Won’t
Click the grey arrow above for sound.
“Please help me help yourself,” my PD said.
“A little remorse could go a long, long way.
Even if you don’t really feel it,
Try feigning it, you know, like an actor in a play?”
“No ma’am, I can’t. I won’t. In fact,
I’d love to kill him all over again.
Watch him jump when I pump
them shells in place, watch his face go white,
them tiny rodent eyes terrified
as I suggest he pray –
“Boom – “before he can mutter ‘Our Father’ – boom –
bits of brain and skull splattering,
sticking to the concrete block behind.
“No ma’am, remorseful I am not.”
Some icy thing shot up her spine,
like she was looking at Satan himself.
“It’s cause what he done to that
little girl,” I said.
She shivered again
and crossed her hands across her chest.
A Pathetic Whiner Keyboards an Ode on Indolence in a Keatsian Stanza
Click the grey arrow above for sound
This sad Saturday morn I wake in dread
of a task as loathsome as burying a pet.
So here I lie with covers over my head –
slothful, fretting, temporizing, and yet,
getting it done is what I got to do.
Oh, god, how dreary, stale and dull seems
to me the task of assessing research essays.
I’d rather suffer a case of the Hong Kong flu,
give my signed Hemingway away,
than put my pen to -oh – those wretched reams!
House of Cards = Small Batch Bourbon
Television and film tend to caricature Southerners. We’re all familiar with the types – the drawling sadistic sheriff who looks as if he has swallowed a sack of horse feed whole; the I-do-declare coquettish belle all aflutter, the tart-tongued steel magnolia, the wiser-than-he-lets on Negro manservant, etc.
Yawn.
Therefore, when I finally got around to peeking in on House of Cards for the first time last weekend, what a pleasure to witness Kevin Stacey’s portrayal of Congressman Frank Underwood, who not only sounds like a real Southerner but who also rises above the stereotypes non-Southerners generally associate with someone from Dixie – rightwing politics and racism – which is not to say that Frank is an admirable character. Part Richard III, part Iago, he’s the apotheosis of Machiavellian machination, a son of a bitch who makes the historical LBJ seem like Atticus Finch in comparison.
Frank not only sounds like a Southerner, but he has a way with words reminiscent of those who have grown up in the oral tradition of story telling, a tradition that appreciates a clever, alliterative turn of phrase. Here he is provoking NEA union boss Marty Spinella into assaulting him: “I’m a white-trash cracker from a white-trash town that no one would even bother to piss on. But here’s the difference. I’ve made something of myself. I have the keys to the Capitol. People respect me. But you, you’re still nothing. You’re just an uppity dago in an expensive suit turning tricks for the unions.” Some of my favorite moments occur when Frank turns directly to the camera in Shakespearean asides looking you, the viewer, in the eye and saying shit like this, “Every Tuesday I sit down with the speaker and the majority leader to discuss the week’s agenda. Well, ‘discuss’ is probably the wrong word… they talk while I imagine their lightly-salted faces frying in a skillet.”
Frank hails from Gaffney and represents South Carolina’s 5th Congressional District, a district that just a few years ago had as its representative courtly Democrat Congressman John Spratt, Davidson-educated, a man of immense integrity, as unlike Frank as Henry V is from Macbeth. Of course, now the district has fallen in Republican hands. It would appear as if Democratic elected officials in South Carolina like Spratt and Fritz Hollings have gone the way of the Carolina parakeet – that is, offstage forever.
At any rate, if you like small batch bourbon, chances are you’re going to like House of Cards. Although occasionally you may find your suspension of disbelief in peril, in fact, on the verge of Hindenburging, but the characterization is superb, complex, including Frank’s ruthless, insecure, profoundly unhappy wife Claire and his doppleganger of a mistress Zoe; even his chief of staff comes off as an authentic human being.
The series is strong, tasty, addictive, and capable of knocking you smack dab flat on your ass, like Jefferson’s Reserve, a great small batch bourbon that I wish I had some of right now.
The Delicate, Censorious Damsels of Wellesley
In case you haven’t heard, a number of delicate damsels and/or censorious puritans at the so-called liberal arts college Wellesley have gotten their granny panties in a knot over a temporary outdoor installation of art by Tony Matelli entitled The Sleepwalker.
Warning: the image below may be offensive to you, especially if you’ve been sexually assaulted by an older male somnambulist undergoing chemotherapy.
The account below comes from the “Globe,” the newspaper, of course, no stranger to controversy having covered in its day the banning of many works in Boston including Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, and the Everly Brothers’ Wake Up Little Susie.”¹
Anyway, “Zoe Magid, a Wellesley College junior majoring in political science, started a petition on Change.org with other students asking college president H. Kim Bottomly to have the statue removed.” The petition in part reads
[T]his highly lifelike sculpture has, within just a few hours of its outdoor installation, become a source of apprehension, fear, and triggering (sic) thoughts regarding sexual assault for many members of our campus community [. . .] While it may appear humorous, or thought-provoking to some, it has already become a source of undue stress for many Wellesley College students, the majority of whom live, study, and work in this space.
Here’s a thought, Zoe. Given that you’ve only been out of high school for 3 years, why not leave the selection of temporary art installations to professionals who know what they’re doing and stick to those skills you’ve mastered, like Tweeting (#philistine), You’re following in the footsteps of Jesse Helms and John Ashcroft, the latter who famously had the piece of filth below covered with curtain in the Robert F Kennedy Department of Justice Building because exposure to an aluminum breast is, well, um, not necessary.
Not only are poly sci majors down on The Sleepwalker, but art history major Annie Wang² also wants the statue removed because she sees it as an “assault”.:
“I think art’s intention is to confront, but not assault, and people can see this as assaulting,” Wang said. “Wellesley is a place where we’re supposed to feel safe. I think place and a context matters, and I don’t think this is the place to put it.”
I just don’t get it. The statue ain’t exactly Gustave Courbet’s L’Origine du monde, and I believe my 83-year-old mother could out run the poor [pardon the tautology] unhip, unattractive, tightie-whitie wearing somnambulist. I suspect that what really offends these young ladies is that the statue embodies unbeautifully the thing they most fear: growing old.
___________________
1. I shit you not.
2. By the way, I’m offended by Ms Wang’s surname because it brings to mind verbal assaults I suffered in locker rooms after PE in junior high school.
Folly Gras 2014: The Battle of Carnival and Lent
The ghost of Pieter Brueghel the Elder haunts Folly Beach’s Folly Gras celebration
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Asshole
I was such a loser in the mid-Seventies [see above photo] that I actually failed at dropping out of grad school. That’s right. Talking about the epitome of incompetence, failing at dropping out of school ranks right up there with attempting suicide by swallowing a handful of artificial sweeteners.
It’s not all that long of a story. After getting dumped by an ex-fiancée in July of ’76, I said to myself, “This here grad school thang ain’t working out.”[1] I decided to go back to Summerville and tread water because, after all, home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.[2]
Impoverished, I had been working two jobs (tending bar in the University Union, washing dorm dishes). Unable to afford textbooks, I checked Whitman, Dickinson, Hardy, Epson, Yeats, and, Auden out of libraries, racking up fines as fast as empty beer cans. In the wee hours, I slapped together underdeveloped essays on manual typewriters. When I made it to class, I shuffled in sporting pre-grunge grunge and reeking of cannabis. Occasionally, I might manage an insightful comment in class or turn an arresting phrase in an essay, but, that ain’t gonna get you a tenure track job, much less a degree.
On the plus side, my fellow students treated me deferentially because not-seeming-to-give-a-shit somehow had come to be – maybe always has been – an admired American trait; on the minus side, my professors were absolutely immune to my slouching charm.
So, on the sunny Monday morning after my revelation that my learning to read and write in a foreign language, passing comps, and writing a board approved dissertation was not likely to occur in the next academic year, I informed my bosses I was quitting, dropping out of school, going home. I blamed my sudden departure on a family emergency, which was true in the sense that a series of family emergencies over the course of my young life had jangled my nerves. I was having what was called in those days “A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.”
Of course, I didn’t bother to inform the University of my departure.
* * *
Three weeks later I very slowly came to consciousness in a hospital in Hilton Head. To this day, I have no idea how long I was there or how I got home. I do know that no charges were filed and that I had stitches still in my back, sutures I assumed were self-dissolving but weren’t.
I had forgotten how much Summerville sucks. My landlady/mother insisted that I participate in cattle calls for manual laborers at temp agencies, which got real old real fast even though they never chose me. [again, see above photo].
So I called my pal Jake-the-Snake, who had been placed in a managerial position at the Golden Spur, the Student Union bar, and his boss hired me on the condition I could cop work study status, hoop jumping I resented, especially since there was a whole slew of new bartenders who had been hired straight up, people like Veda Smith and Judy Birdsong, legitimate graduate students with assistantships who didn’t need jobs in the first place.
Nevertheless, I successfully accomplished the task of being officially classified as financially challenged, and found myself once more racking up student loan debt, tending bar, and slapping together underdeveloped essays on manual typewriters in the wee hours.
But I vowed to myself that I would never ever fail at dropping out of grad school again, and indeed, at the end of the spring semester of ’77, I successfully pulled it off!
Radio Noir
Click grey arrow above for sound.
Airboat, bayou,
black cat, voodoo
Sam Spade, razor blade,
rattlessnake, bad synapse,
prison break, loan lapse,
nylon rope, smoking
dope
coke
crack . . .
. . . static . . .
Hitchhike, tattoo,
peg leg, hoodoo,
tat rat, concrete block,
trunk bang, thump-thump-thump,
shitcan, arm stump,
nylon rope, prison punk.
dope
coke
crack . . .
. . . static . . .
Knock knock.
Who dat?
Po-lice.
hoo-hoo hoo-hoo
Crash door, on the floor,
rasp frisk, arm twist
pistol whip, deep shit . . .
dope
coke
crack . . .
. . . static . . .








