
A Didactic Sonneteer on Crack
The poet’s eye in a fine frenzy rolling
Sonnet, my ass, you call this piece of shit
A sonnet? Right, a sonnet, oh yeah, sure, sure.
To write a sonnet you must be a man or woman of wit –
It must be one-hundred percent pure,
Cast in iambic pentameter – tick TOCK, tick TOCK –
None of this slapdash fill-in-the-blank-piss-
ass diarrhetic irregularity. Think clock:
Tick TOCK, not TOCK tick, man. It’s got to fit
The pattern. Then at the end – swoosh – you swerve
the focus, attempt to solve the problem, knit
a perfect combination of well-chosen words
into a thought that ought to be uplifting
Or ironic or aphoristic or clever or droll.
You see, that’s a way a sonnet is supposed to roll.
Oh, very nice!
I am put in mind, via a series of tangents, of this poem by Clive James, which I interpret in a way that means the exact opposite of what he interprets it to mean:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/apr/30/featuresreviews.guardianreview8
Love it, especially the line, “The meaning what it must of meant to had.”