After a rather ho-hum Tuesday night at the Republican convention, Wednesday night proved to absolutely captivating theater, a Roman spectacle worthy of the great Italian film director Federico Fellini.
Besides pyramid schemers and dowdy astronauts, the speakers included, and I present them with the sobriquets The Donald bestowed upon them during the primary campaign:
Dopey Scott Walker
“The simple truth is liberal Washington insiders created these problems. And Hillary Clinton is the ultimate liberal Washington insider. If she were any more on the inside, she’d be in prison.”
Little Marco Rubio
“She planted the seeds for the disaster we now know as Obamacare. She was an ultra-liberal senator and a reliable vote for crony capitalism, Wall Street bailouts, middle-class tax hikes and out of control government spending.”
Lyin’ Ted Cruise
“And to those listening, please, don’t stay home in November. Stand, and speak, and vote your conscience, vote for candidates up and down the ticket who you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the Constitution.”
Second son Eric Trump
“Wow. Wow. Good evening, Cleveland. Wow. It is such an honor to be here for a man I love so, so, so so much. That’s my father.”
Newt and Callista Gingrich
“To paraphrase Ted Cruz if you want to protect the constitution this fall the only possible choice is Trump/Pence.”
And, finally, Mike Pence (who if he had opposed Trump in the primary would no doubt be known as “Beady-Eyed” Mike).
“For those of you who don’t know me — which is most of you — I grew up on the front row of the American dream. My grandfather immigrated to this country. I was raised in a small town in southern Indiana, in a big family with a cornfield in the backyard. Although we weren’t really a political family, the heroes of my youth were President John F. Kennedy and the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.”
Unlike Walker and Rubio, who swallowed their pride and forgot about earlier Trumpian aspersions and voiced support for the nominee, Cruz seemed to resent having Trump call him a liar, his wife ugly, and his father a conspirator in the JFK assassination. He more or less told the convention not to vote for Trump. This colossal snub elicited a mob-screech of displeasure from the delegates. Poor Mrs. Cruz had to be escorted out by security for protection, and Sheldon Adelson turned Cruz away when he tried to enter his luxury suite (see above).
Of course, the featured speaker Pence became a mere footnote as he dutifully filled the arena with blandishments.
Oh where have you gone. Federico Fellini, a nation turns its late empire eyes to you!