The Podiatrist of Stratford
Okay, literary scholars, let’s see first if you can identify the play from which these misquotations appear and then rewrite them correctly:
A chiropractor, a chiropractor, my real estate for a chiropractor!
Alas, poor Sheldon. I knew him, Lenny. His stand-up slayed.
Because you’re such a goody-goody, does that mean they’ll be no more cannabis and cocktails? (A piece of cake!)
I ain’t used to getting bitch slapped. (Very obscure)
It is a plot narrated by a mentally challenged person, full of blaring leaf blowers and road rage, adding up to jack shit.
Reciting inaudible paeans to a godless, barren universe. (Fairly obscure)
What’s in a brand? Chanel No. 5 by any other brand name, would still be aromatically effective.
The bad shit you do sticks post-mortem, the good disappears in the crematorium.
You Do Hoodoo 
Fun stuff, Wesley. You once said I was a member of the cognoscenti, albeit a lazy one, so here goes without the changes:
1. Richard III
2. Hamlet
3. Twelfth Night (STB)
4. Henry plays
5. Macbeth
6. King Lear
7. R & J
8. JC
Bravo, Russell. You only missed number 4, which was a play on Desdemona’s “I am a child to chiding” after “the lascivious moor” smacked her. Thanks for playing.