Dear Abby, My girlfriend disses me when I put “thee” in my confessional poetry. “So Seventeenth Century,” she says, “the antithesis of hip, old-fashioned, out of time.” which triggers Bill Wyman’s bass line in the juke box of my mind. You’re out of touch my baby, My poor old-fashioned baby, I said baby, baby, baby, you’re out of time. “No way you can publish this rubbish,” she says, “too loosey goosey, sugar britches. “Try not rhyming every other word. The syllables should interlock like a choo-choo train, and go chug-chug-chug-chugging, in a straight line, not go staggering all over the page, like a sentimental drunk smashed on Toostie Roll wine.” Otherwise, she’s sweet as pie, my girlfriend, and treats me nice. Any advice? Signed, Stuck Inside of Peoria’s Suburbs with the Arden Forest Blues Again Dear Stuck, A wise man once wrote: A poem should be palpable and mute As a globed fruit, Dumb As old medallions to the thumb, Silent as the sleeve-worn stone Of casement ledges where the moss has grown— A poem should be wordless As the flight of birds. So, yeah, your GF has a point.