Dear Jean-Paul:

I don’t know why, maybe I’ve been cursed by a malevolent god or something, but every time I get in a line at a supermarket, it always ends up being the slowest line, no matter what. There can be a line like with 6 people in it and a line with 2 people in it, and if I get in the shorter line, invariably there will be a price check or the customer will pay with rolls of pennies, and sure enough, all the people in the long line, plus newcomers, get served before I do.

Any insights? Suggestions?  It’s driving bat-shit crazy.

Seething in Winton-Salem

Dear Seething,

Grow your own vegetables, raise your own livestock.  

Dear Jean-Paul:

My mother died today. Maybe it was yesterday, I don’t know. I received the telegram today. At any rate, the funeral is in a couple of days, and I don’t feel much like going. It’s so much trouble. I’d have to ask the boss for a day off and all. What would you do if you were I?

M. Meursault

Dear M. Meursault:

 I would go to the funeral and make the most of it. Relax at the wake, enjoy a cigarette or two.  After the service, try to pick up a girl, take in a movie, have a swim. May I also suggest casual sex, a seaside stroll, shooting an Arab or two?

Confused, Out of sorts?  Slightly nauseous?  Having trouble deciding what to be or to do?  Send for Jean Paul’s amazing self-help manual On Being and Nothingness.  Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.