With all of my students gone on field trips, I sat around today deleting antiquated files and ran across this blast from the past, our annual “corporate” “Holiday letter” from 2002:
Oh my, how the years do fly. It seems just yesterday that our boys were in the Lower School waiting patiently in line at their prestigious prep school to have their hair checked for head lice, and suddenly, in a blink of an eye, here they are each old enough to have wrecked one of our late model Volvos. And, yes, we realize it’s been five years since we’ve shared our great good fortune with you, but building a beautiful new riverfront house, searching for a college prestigious enough for our first born, and traveling back and forth to Ireland have been time consuming endeavors. Nevertheless, we can no longer ignore the clamorous heartfelt supplications to allow you to at least peek into our rich, meaningful lives. So back, by popular demand, here is the Moore Family Christmas Letter, v. 2002.
Ned is a junior at Porter-Gaud School (founded 1867, tuition $11,432 per annum) and has been active in several extracurricular activities such as the Friday Detention Club and the Salvation Army Shopping Society. There is, of course, a lot of peer pressure at Porter-Gaud, especially to make high grades. So many students there spend an inordinate amount of time paying attention in class and studying for tests. Ned, blessed with artistic genius, refuses to run with the herd. You won’t find Van Gogh, Einstein, or Faulkner’s names on any faculty lists or honor rolls either. We expect great things from Ned, and we’ll keep you posted of any future awards he garners.
According to both emails we’ve gotten from Harrison, he’s flourishing at Georgetown University (founded 1789, tuition $39,500 per annum). Given Harrison’s lifelong dream of working for the South Carolina Democratic Party, Georgetown seems an apt choice given its impressive Center for Cervantes Studies. Plus, Harrison will be right there in Washington learning the ropes from master politicians such as Trent Lott and Walter Mondale. We couldn’t be prouder of him. Walter Mondale, that is.
Judy’s broken a personal record for consecutive years at the same school: 2. Admittedly, she sometimes gets frustrated with the Napoleonic administrators and Kafkaesque bureaucracy she deals with unrelentingly on a daily basis, but just last night she told me that working for Charleston County Schools was like being a character in a Beckett play that just won’t end. In other words, she’s leading an award-winning dramatic working life. You go, girl!
Unfortunately, Wesley is having trouble finding a publisher for his latest manuscript, The Lighter Side of 9/11; nevertheless, he’s already at work on a new project, a coffee table book he plans to self-publish entitled The Picturesque Bars of Folly Beach, South Carolina. Of course, researching the project takes him away from home and into the field nightly, but Ned and Judy seem to be weathering his absences remarkably well. In fact, they encourage him to be as gone as long as needed. Sometimes, it’s almost as if they’ve forgotten that he’s not there, because it’s not unusual for them absentmindedly to lock him out of the house.
We’d like to close by assuring the petit bourgeois who apologize for cataloging their mundane triumphs in impersonal solstice letters such as this one that it’s okay. Hey, it’s not your fault that you have a somewhat of a life and can’t find the time to “hand craft” messages to personal friends. We understand.
All that we ask is that you never drop in without calling first.
Wishing you the Happiest of Holidays,