Unmaternal Republicans

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Rush Limbaugh’s reemergence in the news as cancer victim/Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient reminded me of an incident about a decade ago when some of his usually supportive listeners turned on him for a minute or two. Rush had chided then First Lady Michelle Obama for being overweight. His typically trollish Yahoo commentators (sprawled on beanbag chairs in their darkened rooms), chided Rush, not because of the Rabelaisian hypocrisy of the equivalent of Fatty Arbuckle wagging his sausage-like forefinger at, say, Mae West. No, because the vast majority of Rush’s female listening audience considered themselves to be overweight and body-shaming uncalled for.

Meanwhile, the Far Right’s own Michelle Bachmann was inveighing against First Lady Michelle’s push to raise awareness of the benefits of breast feeding. “To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump … You want to talk about nanny state, I think we just got a new definition,” she screeched.

Not, your breast pump, Miss Narcissist, an impoverished mother’s breast pump (perhaps one of those weak-willed abstinence-trained adolescents).

Leave it to the Radical Right to turn nanny into a dirty word. Next thing you know maternal will be a vile insult, like liberal. A maternal state that would like to see all its babies well-cared for is a pernicious place where the pocket of the patriarchal super rich is picked to redistribute their largesse among the issue of the lazy, the unwed, the unfit.

The fellow below has earned – well, actually, inherited –  his money; still, no matter how he got it, it’s unfair to skim a portion of that pile to fund the filling of  the cavities of impoverished children. Even the lightest redistribution of wealth, 5% say, would bring the economy crashing down around us like walls of Jericho. Wealth is a Calvinistic litmus test that determines who is blessed and who is not. Let the marketplace decide. We’re a patriarchy for Christ’s sake!

Capitalist Oligarchy

Suffer the children indeed.

This Orwellian manipulation of language is incredibly effective: if you repeatedly make good things sound bad, they become bad in the minds of the listeners. For example, when I taught high school, each year I’d ask my students if anyone in the class identified as a feminist.  The girls would cast their eyes floorward and mutter “no” or “not really.”  “What?” I’d ask, feigning incredulity, “so you believe that you should earn less money than men working at the same job?  You believe your husbands should be able to tell you how to dress? You’re against maternity leave?” To them, a feminist is not someone who believes in gender equality but, rather, Rush Limbaugh’s Jungian shadow: the late Andrea Dworkin: unattractive, militant, butch. Repeat the word feminist and flash Dworkin’s image often enough, and she becomes the incarnation of feminism.

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Andrea Dworkin

Alas, a deep acidic strain of misogyny, perhaps Bible-based, infects the worldview of the Radical Right. Otherwise, explain the visceral hatred that Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi evoke. What gives?  What is it about these women that can generate enough animus to spawn millions of dollars in bumper sticker sales? Name a male Democratic politician who has stoked as much animus as Hillary and Nancy. Certainly, would think self-proclaimed Socialist Bernie Sanders would be an unrelenting target of their scorn, but thus far he hasn’t.

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All that I can come up with is that for some strange, perverse psychological reason (I have my unscientific but intuitively rich guesses), members of the Radical Right resent their mothers and have projected their archetypal negative farrow-eating images on womankind in general.  Paradoxically, they’ll allow masculine models like Margaret Thatcher and Ayn Rand into their political and intellectual men’s clubs but banish more maternal women to domestic or secretarial duties. The females who carry the banner of the Radical Right – Ann Coulter, Laura Ingle, Katherine Harris – project hardness; sport inorganic, breakable hair; force their feet into corset-like stilettos; stomp toward the dais; spew sarcasm. They’re about as maternal as a backhand to the mouth.

Interview with Ann Coulter

Hoo Doo

Hoo Doo

Good morning, Ms Coulter.

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

I prefer Miss to Ms., girly-boy. Do I look like a feminist? [holds her armpit to the FaceTime camera]. See, it’s shaven. Obviously you haven’t done your homework. The only women who want to be called Ms are hideous fem-Nazis like Andrea Dworkin, a woman ugly enough to turn the Medusa into stone. Thank God she’s dead. Goes to show you God hates hideousness. Do you even know who Andrea Dworkin is, shit-for-brains? Here’s a picture of her. I always carry a picture of her to remind me that God despises assholes.

Andrea Dworkin

Andrea Dworkin

Hoo Doo

Hoo Doo

So You believe in God?

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

For Christsakes, you idiot. Ever heard of Google? Type in ‘Coulter Christianity’ and you get 704,000 hits in 0.25 seconds. Here’s hit number one: “In fact, Jesus’ distinctive message was People are sinful and need to be redeemed, and this is your lucky day because I’m here to redeem you even though you don’t deserve it, and I have to get the crap kicked out of me to do it. That is the reason He is called ‘Christ the Redeemer’ rather than ‘Christ the Moron Driving Around in a Volvo”‘.

Hoo Doo

Hoo Doo

I take that to be a yes. You’re a Christian.

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

And let me guess, Mr. Obvious. Your next question is going to be that given my pit-bull pugnaciousness, doesn’t my calling myself a Christian  smack of hypocrisy given the turn-the-the-cheek ethos espoused by the Redeemer? Here’s what I have to say to that: “Some slaveholders claimed to be Christians, too. Howard Dean, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Teddy Kennedy and John Kerry all belong to a church that believes it’s okay to stick a fork in a baby’s head. To the extent one is practicing liberalism, one is not practicing the religion of our Father.”

Hoo Doo

Hoo Doo

All righty. Moving on to another subject. You’ve recently created a virtual firestorm by suggesting that America’s increasing interest in soccer signals . . .

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

. . . a sign of the nation’s moral decay. So you can google after all. Yes, I realize this probably offends your decadent Marxist leftist ideology, but I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. Like I’ve said, “The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s ‘Girls,’ light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is “catching on” is exceeded only by the ones pretending women’s basketball is fascinating.”

Hoo Doo

Hoo Doo

Excuse, Miss Coulter, but it just occurs to me that despite your differing views on body hair on females, you and Andrea Dworkin are a lot alike — I mean, as far as tolerance goes, you both make the Inquisition look like Mr. Rogers-

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

Okay, that’s it. This interview’s over. [turns off Skype]

Ann Coulter enjoying some good old-fashioned fun

Ann Coulter enjoying some good old-fashioned fun