Okay, literary scholars, let’s see first if you can identify the play from which these misquotations appear and then rewrite them correctly:

 

A chiropractor, a chiropractor, my real estate for a chiropractor!

 

Alas, poor Sheldon. I knew him, Lenny. His stand-up slayed.

 

Because you’re such a goody-goody, does that mean they’ll be no more cannabis and cocktails? (A piece of cake!)

 

I ain’t used to getting bitch slapped. (Very obscure)

 

It is a plot narrated by a mentally challenged person, full of blaring leaf blowers and road rage, adding up to jack shit.

 

Reciting inaudible paeans to a godless, barren universe. (Fairly obscure)

 

What’s in a brand? Chanel No. 5 by any other brand name, would still be aromatically effective.

 

The bad shit you do sticks post-mortem, the good disappears in the crematorium.