Not Missing Misbehaving

I don’t remember the last time
I cranked down a backseat window
and stuck my head out into
the wind shoosh of a moving vehicle
down a suburban street
back in the day before seatbelts,
shouting some silly something like “E=MC2”
to startled pedestrians
just because I felt like it,
so it’s been a while since I hollered out
of a car window, misbehaving in public.

Private misbehavior I’ve also been guilty of,
like calling bullshit on some shared Biblical absurdity
at a cocktail party in Atlanta or Charleston,
embarrassing my spouse, when I should
have dismissed the chemical spritz
of the believer and not call
attention to myself.
I’m guilty of lesser sins as well
like being the last to leave the party,
absentmindedly belching after a meal,
checking my phone mid-conversation.

But there’s no fun in any of that,
no fun in the sudden oath, the blows and fall
of anger, but I do confess I still
(in my acetic heart) appreciate
the jiu jitsu of a bitchy bon mot
done up in Oscar Wilde style,
knocking a snoot down a
peg or two or three.
So I’m laying off misbehaving, y’all,
heeding the call,
but not exactly minding my own beeswax it seems.