Certainly, there must be some film maker somewhere who is gathering the various videos taken of what has become known as “The Montgomery Boat Brawl” to fashion them into a well-edited epic entitled Afterbirth of a Nation.

By now, you know the basics. White boaters take offense when a Black security man asks them to move their pontoon so a riverboat can dock. The White man is uncooperative, words are exchanged, pushing and shoving ensue, the Black man throws his cap into the air, and fists start flying.^[1] The White man’s boatmates join in on the tussle, and several other Black men, presumedly dockworkers, come rumbling down a stairway like a horseless calvary to join in on the fray, not to mention the Black man who swims across the river to join in. What ensues is reminiscent of dugouts emptying after a beaning or a staged professional wrestling free-for-all. 

To echo Dylan, send out for some folding chairs and Haystack Calhoun.^[2]

It’s gone beyond viral. The folding chair, which is used as a weapon, is all over the Internet, and many of the participants have been dubbed with various noms de guerre.  For example, the swimmer is now known as Ja’ Aquaman! and/or Scuba Gooding. 

Since Republicans tend to blame everything on Joe Biden, including Team USA’s loss in the recent World Cup, I’m going to wag my censorious finger at Donald Trump, whose blatant abuse of common decency and civilized decorum has uncorked a Pandora’s Box of combustible bile that provides people permission to act like assholes. 

On the other hand, the incident may provide an uptick in the US economy and has certainly provided TikTok entertainers and retired English teachers something to squawk and write about.

Here’s my favorite rendition by Detroit’s own GMACCASH.

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^[1] Several commentators contend that the hat toss was a signal for back-up.

^[2] The actual line is “Then send out for some pillars and Cecile B. DeMille from “Tombstone Blues.