Hurricane Hugo Anniversary Ramblings

Today, 21 September 2024, happens to be the autumnal equinox, and here on Folly Beach, the Edge of America, the weather is perfect, not a cloud overhead, the temperature Edenic, downright Elysian — no flies at Chico Feo, no mosquito swatting needed on my walk home from the bar. 

However, today also happens to be the 35th anniversary of Hurricane Hugo. As you can see above, Hugo was, “a mighty, mighty storm.”[1] Ask any Lowcountry resident who opted not to evacuate, and you’re likely to hear tales ranging from extreme discomfiture to abject terror.

Our family – Judy Birdsong, sons Harrison (5) and Ned (3), springer spaniels Jack and Sally, and I-and-I lived on the Isle of Palms, a barrier island that lay in the crosshairs of a cone of inevitability – in other words, Charleston was going to get clobbered by a monster category 4 cyclone.

On Wednesday evening before Thursday’s late night landfall, before we drove to my parents’ house in Summerville to drop off the dogs and spend the night before fleeing further inland to Columbia, I drove downtown to Charleston to hear Allan Gurganus read from his just published novel The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All. I bought a copy, had Allan inscribe it, then drove back home and nailed plywood over sliding glass doors.

As it turned out, the novel, which deals with Reconstruction, offered a parallel to what we were about to endure. My father-in-law Ralph Birdsong compared the post-Hugo Isle of Palms and Sullivans Island to the bombed out towns of Europe he witnessed in World War II. 

Sullivan’s Island 22 September 1989

Reconstruction indeed.

We left Summerville first thing Thursday morning and arrived at my friend’s Jake’s house around noon where we watched the storm swirl closer and closer to the coast on a television screen. That evening, we had dinner at a restaurant in Five Points. We had been lately listening to Lyle Lovett’s most recently released album, which featured a song called “Here I Am.” 

Here’s are the lyrics from the last verse, which is spoken rather than sung:

Look, I understand too

little too late.

I realize there are things

you say and do

you can never take back.

But what would you be if

you didn’t really try?

You have to try.

So after a lot of thought

I’s like to reconsider.

Please if it’s not too late,

Make it a cheeseburger.

When it was time to order our meal, I asked three-year-old Ned what he would like to eat, and he said in a tiny little Lyle Lovett voice, “Please make it a cheeseburger.”

That almost made the entire ordeal worth it.

Almost, but nor entirely. Because the only bridge to the islands was destroyed, we became homeless for 17 long days, moving from family to family, devoured by anxiety. However, once we finally made it to the island via a ferry and walked from the marina to our home, he were delighted to see it standing in one piece. The ground floor had received about two inches of water, a tree had smashed through a back door into our bedroom, the floors were warped, so we had tons of work to perform, but we could sleep upstairs.

Sullivan’s Island Bridge (photo credit Judy Birdsong)

Ever it be so pounded, there’s no place like home. 


[1] I copped that quote from the Black spiritual about the Galveston hurricane of 1900.

Every Bod Gone Cruzy

Every Bod Gone Cruzy[1]

Well, not everybody’s gone cruzy. I’m as sane as David Attenborough, Walter Cronkite, Ward Cleaver, as sane as Thich Naht Hahn — or at least I’d like to think so. Certainly, I’m saner than the Lt. Governor of North Carolina, Mark Robinson, who has dubbed himself a “Black Nazi” on a transporn[2] site where he confessed nostalgia for the institution of slavery and expressed the desire to purchase a couple of human beings himself.

Here’s a photo of him mugging with the 45th president of the United States. Obviously, he and Idi Amin share a common ancestor.

BTW, here’s the greatest sentence in the history of American literature that features “Idi Amin.”

“I was in the water for six hours. Shivering, praying, scared, full of adrenaline. I kept making deals with the Fates, with God, Neptune, whoever, thinking I’d trade places with anybody anywhere – lepers, untouchables, political prisoners, Idi Amin’s wives – anything, so long as I’d be alive.”

                                                                        T. Coraghessan Boyle, Budding Prospects

Idi Amin

Also, I’d like to think I’m saner than Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy, Jr. For example, if I were ever unfortunate enough to run across a washed up dead whale, I’d like to think I wouldn’t saw its head off and take the head home with me. 

How did these [alliterative participle deleted] fools attain such high status you might wonder.

Well, Kennedy is a Kennedy after all. He was born into perhaps the most famous American family this side of Maybelle Carter’s clan. But Robinson? How did he rise from an abusive childhood bouncing back and forth from foster homes to his mama?  Here’s how. By giving a pro-gun speech at a Greensboro City Council meeting that went viral on Facebook. 

Robinson’s entry into politics reminds me of Lester Maddox’s who gained fame by chasing potential Black customers out of his restaurant with ax handles, became a sort of redneck folk hero, and was chosen as governor by the state legislature because of election confusion caused by a write-in candidate.

Lester and Mark strange bedfellows indeed.

And now both Georgia and North Carolina are swing states.

It’ll be interesting to see in forty something days, how many US citizens will vote for a candidate promising detention camps, mass deportations, tariffs, a candidate who portrays The US as a hellscape despite inflation under 3%, all three stock indices at record levels, and crime significantly decreasing.[3]

Maybe, a majority of voters in swing states won’t have gone cruzy. Maybe Georgians and North Carolinians will dump Trump. 

I wouldn’t bet on it, though.


[1] The title is a direct quote from a paragraph I received when I was teaching Developmental English at Trident Technical College circa 1980. Here’s another direct quote from the same paragraph. “Vivid sex on my mind every day.”  

[2] Can’t believe stodgy ol’ Microsoft Word doesn’t have “transporn” in their spelling dictionary. Tsk, tsk. 

[3] In 2020, the United States experienced one of its most dangerous years in decades.

The number of murders across the country surged by nearly 30% between 2019 and 2020, according to FBI statistics. The overall violent crime rate, which includes murder, assault, robbery and rape, inched up around 5% in the same period.

But in 2023, crime in America looked very different.

“At some point in 2022 — at the end of 2022 or through 2023 — there was just a tipping point where violence started to fall and it just continued to fall,” said Jeff Asher, a crime analyst and co-founder of AH Datalytics.

In cities big and small, from both coasts, violence has dropped.

Observations from the Other Other Wes Moore on the Trump Harris Debate

Observations from the Other Other Wes Moore on the Trump Harris Debate[1]

Back in the hypersensitive days of yore, Gary Hart’s extra marital shenanigans or Howard Dean’s oddly too exuberant “woo-hoo” could suddenly disqualify candidates from seeking their party’s presidential nomination. 

To coin a phrase, “Them days is over.” Nowadays, paying hush money to porn stars and being convicted on thirty-four felony counts are no longer disqualifying. 

Also, nowadays, online misinformation is taken as the gospel truth by simpleminded people. 

For example, here are two direct quotes from Donald Trump from Tuesday’s debate, which, in a sane society, would in and of themselves end his campaign for the presidency..

Quote number one: “Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.” 

This statement is so off-the-charts-creepy-Thanksgiving-dinner-bachelor-great-uncle-ish, that I can’t summon the energy to cough up from my dyspeptic spleen an HL Menckenesque screed of mockery because Trump’s claim is so batshit crazy that anything I’d come up with wouldn’t do justice to its absurdity.[2]

So here’s another quote: “They’re eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people that live there.” [i.e., Springfield, Ohio]

They, being Haitians, i.e., goggle-eyed zombies that at night wander from homestead to homestead abducting unfenced pets to feed on their brains.

An aside: Do white people hate people of color so much they don’t mind that this idiot is in charge of the nuclear codes?  

When the debate started, I disapproved of Kamala’s first answer, an evasion of the question, a rehearsed opening salvo, a laundry list of proposals, and I thought Trump looked calm and uncharacteristically presidential at first. I was worried for a minute or two.

However, in no time. he was careening into nonsense while she was getting her groove, smiling incredulously in high-snark amusement while Trump bragged about how much Hungarian strongman Vicktor Orbán admired him. 

His performance throughout the debate was the opposite of grace under pressure. 

In other words, it was ugly – like his rallies, like his hair, like his suits, like his ties. 


[1]For the record, I’m not the Governor of Maryland.

[2] I’d love some grammar maven to diagram that sentence.

Lines Stolen on a Gloomy Sabbath after Being Led Astray

Lines Stolen on a Gloomy Sabbath after Being Led Astray

Do you know the New York Times game Connections?  

If not, in the game, you’re presented each morning with a square consisting of sixteen boxes, four up and four down. The object is to discover an affinity of four of the words/terms that appear in the boxes, in other words., to find a common thread. Essentially, if you correctly identify three groups, you win because the final four you didn’t choose, will form the last group. 

Here’s today’s puzzle:

Frost                Beach              Pump               Pope

Race                Bishop             Pet Shop          Pound

Hardy              Beat                 Prior                 Bake

Throb              Bad                  Preheat             Pastor

The first category that came to my mind was poets’ surnames.

(Robert) Frost

(Alexander) Pope

(Elizabeth) Bishop

(Ezra) Pound

(Thomas) Hardy

This seemed unfair because there are five obvious choices, but not to worry, poets weren’t a category, and I almost botched my 48-day streak, missing my first three guesses but somehow managed to get the blue category (the second to the hardest), then the green (the second easiest), and finally, the yellow, the easiest, third, which left the purples, the hardest, now a gimme.

So I decided in protest to construct a poem by lifting lines from the poets that appeared in the puzzle.  Here it is:

Lines Stolen on a Gloomy Sabbath

Back out of all this now too much for us,

Down their carved names the rain drop ploughs.

One tear, like the bee’s sting, slips.

The paired butterflies are already yellow with August

And sport and flutter in the fields of air.

Sources:

Robert Frost, “Directive”

Thomas Hardy, “During Wind and Rain”

Elizabeth Bishop, “The Man Moth”

Ezra Pound, “The River Merchant’s Wife: A Letter”

Alexander Pope, “The Rape of the Lock, Canto 1”

So thank you, whoever, constructs Connections, for leading me astray.

A Post Labor Day Meditation

A Post Labor Day Meditation

I said, ‘It’s certain there is no fine thing   

Since Adam’s fall but needs much labouring.

WB Yeats, “Adam’s Curse”

It’s the Tuesday after Labor Day, and, as if on cue, the weather has turned a tad cooler.  The trees outside my second story office are swaying, nodding, trembling in a brisk breeze. In the back yard, morning glory vines have carpeted the Asiatic jasmine with purple flowers while the untended Elaeagnus is broadening its realm and sprouting ugly baldish shoots skyward. 

So this morning, armed with swing blade and hedge clippers, I braved the mosquitos to do a bit of long overdo maintenance, which oddly enough brought to mind Milton’s Paradise Lost where Eve and Adam are tasked by their Creator to tend to the garden’s growth. They must “lop” or “prune” or “bind,” but nevertheless “wanton growth derides” and the garden “tends to wilde” (sic). So, channeling her inner Adam Smith, Eve suggests she and Adam divide their labor, which leaves her isolated and vulnerable to the blandishments of Satan’s forked tongue and phallic charms:

            [The Serpent] Address’d his way, not with indented wave,
            Prone on the ground, as since, but on his reare,
            Circular base of rising foulds, that tour’d
            Fould above fould a surging Maze, his Head
            Crested aloft and Carbuncle his Eyes; 

            With burnisht Neck of verdant Gold, erect[1]
            Amidst his circling Spires . . . 

This seduction, of course, leads to the fall of humankind, so farewell, delightful gardening, hail back-breaking farm labor.

Thus, Adam’s curse is twofold: death and labor.

Yet, I think that without meaningful labor we humans tend to wither, and how horrible a terrestrial eternal life would be! Just ask Petronius’s Sibyl: 

I saw with my own eyes the Sibyl at Cumae hanging in a cage, and when the boys said to her: “Sibyl, what do you want?” she answered: “I want to die.”[2]            

                                                                                                Petronius, The Satyricon

Or the old man in Chaucer’s “The Pardoner’s Tale”:

            Thus I walk, like a restless wretch,

            And on the ground, which is my mother’s gate,

            I knock with my staff, both early and late,

            And say, “Dear mother, let me in!”

                                                            Chaucer, “The Pardoner’s Tale”

So, we should be thankful for Original Sin. Otherwise, we’d be stuck in a never-ending cycle of gardening, which would delight some of my friends, but is not to my taste.

I’ll give Wallace Stevens the last word:

            Is there no change of death in paradise?

            Does ripe fruit never fall? Or do the boughs

            Hang always heavy in that perfect sky,

            Unchanging, yet so like our perishing earth,

            With rivers like our own that seek for seas

            They never find, the same receding shores

            That never touch with inarticulate pang?

            Why set the pear upon those river-banks

            Or spice the shores with odors of the plum?

            Alas, that they should wear our colors there,

            The silken weavings of our afternoons,

            And pick the strings of our insipid lutes!

            Death is the mother of beauty, mystical,

            Within whose burning bosom we devise

            Our earthly mothers waiting, sleeplessly.

                                                                        Wallace Stevens, “Sunday Morning”


[1] Emphasis mine. But while I’m at it here below, shouldn’t some vice crusader alert Moms for Liberty that this filth is hiding in virtually every high school library in America! 

[2] “The Sibyl of Cumae was a prophetess in service to Apollo and a great beauty. Apollo wished to take her as his lover and offered her anything she desired. She asked to live for as many years as there were grains in a handful of dust. Apollo granted her wish, but still she refused to become his lover. In time, the sibyl came to regret her boon as she grew old but did not die. She lived for hundreds of years, each year becoming smaller and frailer, Apollo having given her long life but not eternal youth. When Trimalchio speaks of her in the Satyricon, she is little more than a tourist attraction, tiny, ancient, confined, and longing to die.”  from a hyperlink in windingway.org’s hypertext version of TS Eliot’s “The Waste Land”