A performance of King Lear with Van Morison in the lead role and Keith Richards as the Fool.
An NPR on-location story that doesn’t begin with some goddamned sound effect like a pile driver a-driving (story on beachside construction), a trickle of water a-trickling (story California’s drought), twelve stentorian obese sleepers a-snoring (story on sleep apnea laboratories).
The sight of Andrew Dice Clay and Howard Stern kissing on screen in a remake of Broke Back Mountain.
The discovery of a lost semi-nude painting of Jane Austen.
A restorative cure for alopecia.